Renting a Car in Jamaica, my Experience

In September of 2010 I decided that instead of dealing with charter taxis in Jamaica I would rent my own car.  Having a great deal of experience driving in Jamaica…4 miles in a van and maybe 300 miles on a scooter/motor bike I knew I was ready!  But…. I know how the roads are in rural locations so I knew in my heart I didn’t want a car but rather a SUV or Hummer!

Shopping for a rental car: Shopping for a rental car over the internet is a challenge to say the least.  All of the cheap cars are mini sub compacts that hold maybe a small cat with limited luggage and their ground clearance will not allow me to combat the pot holes.  I really wanted a tank or at least a Hummer but neither were available….it’s a manly thing to have a big ride in case you didn’t know.  So my search was limited to a SUV (how humbling).  To make matters worse all of the SUV’s on the island are girly SUV’s!  After spending a few weeks looking around at the local and international rental places I decided for about the same money I would  go for the safe route and book with a company that I knew from the states (US.

Pick up and Delivery of my Rental Car: After sailing through the Jamaican customs and immigrations, I hit a giant roadblock picking up my rental SUV.  It was like time was running at a snails pace!  The normal 5 minute stuff lasted 40 minutes and when we got to additional drivers time just stood still.  I wanted to add a local friend of mine who just flew into Mobay a week ago and stopped by the rental place to provide his license.  At the time the rental clerk said everything was okay and they didn’t take a copy of his license.  When I showed up, not having a copy of the license was some sort of federal crime.  After another hour of pure fuckery I decided that I would be the only person driving and left to pick up my rental.

Inspecting a Rental Car: In the pouring rain I had to follow my rental guy around my SUV at 100 mph agreeing that everything was perfect.  To his dislike, I slowed him down and took several pictures of scratches and such and forced him to mark on his card that every surface of the SUV had defects.  At first he was a little pissy but as I was taking more and more pictures he knew his opinion was not going to get me to sign out the car. In the end, I had a rental card that showed that every surface had defects without any details as to what the exact defects were.

Driving in Jamaica: Leaving the airport I hit one of the only round abouts on the island.  Being from Massachusetts, I’m an expert at them but seeing as how I’m driving on the other side of the road, my mind locked up.   I was only a few yards away from the circle when I knew I had to go left(east) and my mind was saying to go right but I knew I had to go left…..confused!  After maybe a minute I figured the whole thing out and overcame that mountain of a challenge.  A few miles down the road I was able to stop at my favorite gas station (overpriced convenience store) and at my favorite north coast Cambio.  I have to add that as a tourist getting out of a rental car a few miles from the airport, I smell like money to the dozen or so people hanging out in front of the cambio.  While walking inside, I knew in my mind that I left $5000 or so of camera equipment in the car along with cash and that I would be walking out with $100,000 or so in Jamaican money.  Needless to say, when I got out it was time to get the fuc out of dodge!

Over the next 60 miles I learned a few hundred times that my turn signal and my windshield wipers were on “the wrong side” compared to how they are at home.  Actually, over the next several days I proved to myself time and time again that I kept getting the controls confused….damn those English folks for making Jamaicans drive on the wrong side of the road and messing up where their controls are(kidding)!  Since I knew that I was driving on the north coast highway and it was the best highway on the island, I settled in and got use to driving.  Several times other drivers alerted me to radar traps and random police stops, after experiencing them before (machine guns and such) I kept my speed nice and slow and my mind on the wheel instead of on gin-n-juice or ganja.

After 90 minutes or so, I reached Ochi, the armpit of Jamaica when it comes to tourist and being harassed.  As much as I hate the town, it was only fitting that it rained like I have never seen it before.  The streets looked like rivers and random rocks and streams of sand made some streets a danger unless you drove a vehicle with very good ground clearance.  I drove around for 30 minutes or so to kill some time before I had to drop of wedding photographs that I took almost a year before to some friends of mine that got married over in Negril.   It was sort of a sucky meeting…..here’s your complete wedding on 3 DVD’s…we are getting soaked….have a good day.

20 minutes later I was heading up to where my friends live in the hills above Runaway bay.  Finally roads that I knew like the back of my hand……or so I thought.  I got lost twice before I gave up and hired a local to show me  the way.  It cost me a $3.00US tip for a local to drive with me for 20 minutes and then he had  to walk back on his own even after my offer to drive him back.  My feeble attempt of being proud of my navigation skills died when my hosts claimed that locals called them several times to let them know about my route through the hills.  <–Locals like to forewarn people that foreign people are roaming about looking for them!

The next day my local friend and a couple of tag alongs loaded up and we were heading to Red Light, a town about 15 miles north of Kingston.  Looking at my new (and expensive map) I knew it should only take a few hours.  But….the maps show straight lines instead of all the hairpin turns!  It seemed like hours before we finally turned up into the mountains and from there it was turn after turn at 20-30 miles per hour.  It’s hard to describe how stressful the driving was with cliffs on one side and the other side of my SUV rubbing up against trees and such. Several times I offered my childhood friend (now  local) to drive but he kept reminding me that he was not on my rental insurance.  I think the real reason for him not driving is that I have over the years commented on how degrading the act of driving is.  “Nah, you drive, it’s so degrading for me to drive”….ah my word comes back to bite me!  After a couple of hours and several stop to provision for our stay in the Blue Mountains my friend’s (the navigator) and my memory of the mountains began to have a conflict.  I kept saying over and over the towns that we should past through and the towns that we were passing through were different.  Finally after reaching Kingston (never in our plans) I figured out that my navigator had a title that he did not deserve!  After several calls to our “resort” (Rafjam) and several somewhat heated debates we headed back into the mountains on another road.

Driving up into the Blue Mountains was a driving experience that is beyond description.  On one side you have a cliff that has a 1000 foot drop off and on the other side you have a mountain.  The road is just a series of 180 turns so 5 miles = 10,000 miles and the whole trip seems like a life of stress.  After getting lost several times and with thoughts of throwing my navigator over a cliff we reached our resort area.  The directions were turn right at “Redlight” until we reach the resort.  As soon as we made the first turn we knew it was a donkey trail at best.  Thank god I got the SUV because the the road was something out of a bad movie!  At one point a huge rock made a canopy above the rental SUV and the insurance thingy was ringing in my head.  It was a real relief that our resort owner drove us around the mountains in my SUV so I could enjoy a few days without stress….even though my insurance would not cover him.

Driving south and out of the Blue Mountains was a more enjoyable experience!   I strapped a video camera on the front of the SUV to capture the sites, the sounds and the constant honking of the horns at every blind corner.  I would post the video but some ass clown stole my video camera…..$100 camera but I would pay 3 times that for just the SD card with my video.  Looking back, I’m glad that my cheap camera was stolen and not one of the other two I had with me or some of my lenses that cost more than my trip.

Once reaching Kingston, I knew I had to get out of town and to the west coast as soon as possible.  The heavy smoggy air and the traffic reminded me of bad places back at home.  For an hour we were stuck in traffic that lead up to a roadblock that the military set up.  Sitting in this type of traffic while it’s like an oven in the car forced me to turn on the AC and for several reasons using an AC in Jamaica is just wrong.  Like me expand on this thought, with the AC on and the windows up you can not hear what is going on outside of your car, you condition your body to 60 degree temps and every time you leave the car your body goes into a mild type of shock, you burn more gas and gas is expensive in Jamaica!  At one point a random guy started to wash my windshield and in my best Patois I yelled at him that we don’t want it washed and that I don’t have any money with me to give him a tip.  Over and over I stressed that he should back off but my message fell on deaf ears until it was time to pay up….those deaf ears washed my window for free since supporting a forced service sends the wrong message.

Looking at a map and comparing it to the north coast, the drive from Kingston to Negril should take a little under 3 hours…..wrong…wrong…wrong!  The drive takes about twice that time at a safe pace with a few stops.  The first half of our drive up to Mandeville was a pleasure even though the lack of roadsigns and the lack of skills on the part of my navigator caused a few detours and miles of backtracking when we missed turns.  Once passing through Mandeville, we got hit with a rain storm that flooded all of the roads.  In parts the two lane roads turned into one lane roads and it other parts you could not see the roads.  At this point I was really happy that our girly SUV had a good ground clearance so we did not hydroplane!

Once we reached SAV the need for a car with high ground clearance was over.  The roads from SAV back to the north coast are in excellent shape during the day.  At night the lack of white and yellow lines on the roads combined with the lack of lights on the roads and the sun bleaching the roads makes driving a really awful experience for me.

A few tips for driving in Jamaica:

1.  Keep your gas tank at least half full since gas stations are not on every corner like at home.

2.  Tire or as they call them Tyre damage can and will happen because of the pot holes.  Be sure to inspect your tires, rims and your spare tire before you pay for a rental.

3.  The people in the center of a round about have the right of way unlike at home.

4.  Make sure your rental car has proof of an inspection, you have your license with you and you have bribe money if you wish to pay off the police instead of paying for a ticket.  Generally a $5-$10 ($500-$1000 Jamaican dollars) bribe is fine  but if you pull out a wad of money the fine will be more.  Hint, keep $500J in one location and $1000j in another location.

5.  Don’t transport ganja or other drugs!  It doesn’t matter if it’s a single joint/spliff or a giant bag, the police will ruin your day or at least your budget if they search your car and find drugs.  If you smoke just buy a bag/spliff when you stop for a break.  There is not a single place on the island where you can’t get a spliff….scream ” I need a spliff” and watch how many people will help you with your needs…..so don’t take a risk with a spliff in your car.

6.  Roadblocks, have your ID and paperwork ready and keep your hands where the fine people with machine guns can see them.  If you drive around the island you will be stopped 1-10 times (a luck and karma thing) at these horrible and stressful roadblocks.

7.  Drive slow on rural roads since the school kids have to walk on them to get to school, the random cows, broken down cars, dogs and such also share the same road with you.  One thing to note, goats for some reason are smarter than all of god’s other creations and they seldom get run over…everything else stains the pavement red so keep it slow so you don’t ruin your trip by running over a kid walking to school.

8.  Lock up your stuff in the trunk and keep anything worth stealing out of site!  Lock up your stuff in the trunk and keep anything worth stealing out of site!  Should I repeat it a third time?

9.  Park your rental car in secure locations.  With a rental car you are sort of marked as a rich tourist with money.  Keep this in mind whenever you leave your car.  In some rare cases this might require hiring someone to watch over your car but after a little while you will get a feel for the whole concept.

10.  There always has to be a number ten!  #10……just f’ing enjoy your trip, enjoy the sights, sounds, smells and culture.  Renting a car gives you the freedom to go where you want any time you want to go there, by renting a car you paid for this freedom so enjoy it!  Load up a few cold beverages, a good map, a clear head and explore the island!

I would like to thank the 100’s of Monday night quarterbacks on tripadvisor and N.com who have never rented a car and warn people about renting them….not sure why I want to thank them but maybe they inspired me to write about my experiences?  Also a special thanks to Ohliz for sharing her car rental experience on several Jamaica sites and providing her views on the topic.

Herbie’s on the Beach in Negril Jamaica

Herbie’s on the beach in Jamaica review

Unlike some of my boring lodging and food reviews, Herbie’s is in a class of it’s own!  Yeah he offers camp sites and food but Herbie’s is more of an experience, a relaxing experience.   Last April I walked across the street from Jah B’s into what looked like an empty lot in order to cut through to the beach.  Right before I got to the beach, I noticed a little shack of a building with a few lawn chairs out front.  Looking a little to my right, I noticed a stump with a building behind it……flashback—a forum member on n.com posted a picture of him sleeping next to the stump a few months before my trip.  It hit me that this was the place and Herbie was the man that Smith was talking about!

So, there I am at the door step of the world famous Herbie’s on the beach in Negril and my only thought is ” how much for a beer?”.  Yeah, I’m a cheap son of a bitch and I’ll walk a mile to save a Jamaican dollar!  Since exchange rates change and many people don’t have a feel for what a Jamaican dollar is, let’s say the price was a 1.5 on a 1-10 scale, not the cheapest in the world but damn close.  “Bobo” the Bobo Rasta(dreadlocks wrapped up in cloth) was very friendly greeting me and if he vanished for a minute it was fine if I helped myself in the kitchen on the honor system.  At the end of each day/night ( I spent some time there) he would make sure that my count was the same as his.  After a couple of days feeling comfortable with Bobo’s vibe I felt that Herbie’s was my type of place…..like “Cheers” the show on TV.  It didn’t matter if I showed up at 6am, 9am,3pm, 9pm or midnight, Bobo was there to help me with what I needed!  A few nights I stayed there all night until the sunrise the next morning but that’s another story.

After a couple of days a pair of farrin (foreign) women staying at Jah B’s were bitching about cheap places to go and with a soft spot in my heart I introduced them to Herbie’s.  Granted every local Jamaican man in a 300 yard radius ruled them out as being gay but for me it was more about introducing budget travelers to a cheap place to enjoy the beach.  It didn’t take long for them to figure out their Jamaica travel plans could be extended now that they could enjoy food and beverages for well less than what normal travelers pay.  Over the next few days they got use to “living” at Herbie’s and my special place in Negril was tainted…..so it goes.  Not tainted because they were there but rather because I was at the time the only tourist there.  If the percentage of tourists is over let’s say 1.5% then my ass is moving on.

But…..I still went there for my morning swims, my afternoon swims, my evening swims and for all of my beach relaxing time!  Being able to walk up and throw down my camera gear ($$$$) along with my clothes knowing that everything would be there upon my return is priceless.  I didn’t matter if I used my camera or even my laptop if it was with me, once I went for a swim Bobo and Herbie had my back watching over my stuff.  One night I had a little “issue” with a local that got to the point where I felt the need to get out of my chair to deal with the local but before I could get up Bobo had him running away.  At first I laughed but then Bobo asked 100 questions which lead him to stand watch for the night.

Fast forward 6 months and I bring 3 friends to Herbie’s……as soon as we round the corner Bobo and Herbie greet me like I was there yesterday—-ahh such a warm welcome!  I guess on my end it was even more welcoming since they knew who I was…..that could of been funny saying how the place was great and the owners looking at me like they didn’t know me.  If you are looking for a relaxing place on the beach in Negril with a local vibe, cheap beer and require a nice safe vibe be sure to check out Herbie’s.

Location:  Mid beach, one spot north of Rooms on the Beach, a few stops south of Roots Bamboo, across the street from Jah B’s, a 10-15 minute walk from the round about (rotary) a 15 minute walk from Hedo….if you can’t find it with those directions get a taxi.

Clive’s Transport Services

A review of Clive’s Transport Services in Jamaica:

After a couple of years of having friends or random taxi drivers bringing me from the airport to my lodging, I decided to give Clive’s Transportation a try. After reading several reviews on the popular Jamaican forums I could not find one negative post or opinion about Clive’s. At first I thought that something must be wrong since everyone complains about Jamaican taxi drivers, but I was wrong as the service was perfect!

Booking With Clive’s: I emailed Clive about his rates to Negril and since I was coming in late at night if he could pickup or make some stops for supplies that I needed for my stay. Within a few hours I got a response, confirmed prices and my round trip from MBJ to Negril was booked! Since I’m too cheap to pick up the phone and call Jamaica at close to $2.00 a minute (cell phone) I was thrilled with the on-line/e-mail booking of my trip.

Promptness of Pickup: After speeding through Jamaican Customs and Immigrations in just a few minutes I was worried that the driver would assume it would take an hour like my past trips. As soon as I walked out into the warm inviting Jamaican air, Clive (the owner) was waiting for me with a sign and a big smile. Since I was Clive’s only pickup for the trip we were on our way within seconds.

Condition of Ride: Like many other professional Jamaican transport services, Clive’s van was in perfect working order and looked like it just got out of the detail shop, everything was as clean as the day he bought the van. The seats and cabin didn’t have any stains and they didn’t have any musky or smokey smells. In my opinion, the condition of a ride is a true reflection of how the driver or owner treats his business and his clients.

Driver Safety: After my past experiences with drivers that were trying out for NASCAR or some sort of a race, I was relieved that Clive drove at a nice safe speed from Mobay to Negril. Not seeing my life pass before my eyes was enjoyable more than I can describe unless you have witnessed the same. Never once did I witness excessive speeds, passing on blind corners or any of the other things that bother tourists in Jamaica!

Driver Knowledge: Clive knows his route, knows the island and knows how to size up a tourist to get a feel of how much of a talking tour they want. If you want a “welcome to Jamaica, over there is such and such and over there is…” Clive’s can provide it. If you want simple chit chat without the tour Clive will cater to that as well without you ever feeling uncomfortable. Assuming that we have all had taxi drivers that spoke way too much or never said a word, you will love how Clive and his team will know and cater to what you expect on your transport or tour.

Driver’s Personality: I thought both Clive (trip from Mobay to negril) and his driver on the way back to have a nice warm friendly personality. While I’m not proud of staying up drinking overproof rum until 2 hours before my return to Mobay, I was happy that my return driver woke me up and got me to the airport in time for my flight. Looking bad almost a year, I was having a great time and figured that I could drink myself silly until my pickup at 5 in the morning. Seeing as how I had been celebrating my last day since 9AM, and walking several miles on my last day I guess it was a pipe dream! Clive’s driver tried everything from honking his horn, knocking on my door to calling me on my cell phone. Normally a driver would say fuc* it and drive off but he stayed in focus and continued until I woke up! It was almost comical when I was picked up and he said(smelling the odors coming off of me) “so you enjoyed some rum?”….after some incoherent words from my mouth, he added “what time did you stop drinking rum?”….from my response he knew it was a snore fest all the way to Mobay and he would have to wake me up and kick me out of his van.   After his great service, his tip exceeding the taxi rate!

Overall Impression of the Whole Experience: On a 1-10, I will give Clive’s a 10. I can’t think of a single thing that would give him a lower rating. While I would expect a “10″ from an owner operator, his return driver delivered his high level of service as well. As a side note, my experiences are on par with his reviews all over the internet, Clive’s Transport delivers excellent service every time!

Contact info:

Clive’s Cell Phone # 876-869-7571

Clive’s website: Clive’s Jamaica Transport <—Click There!

Old Tavern Coffee Estate Review

Old Tavern Coffee Estate Review in the Blue Mountains of Jamaica

As a coffee lover, a tour of a coffee farm in the Blue Mountains of Jamaica is like going to the coffee hall of fame.  Most coffee lovers and experts will agree that some of the best coffee in the world comes form the Blue Mountain area of Jamaica.  Without going into a bunch of details, the location and blah blah blah make the Blue Mountain coffee one of the most sought after coffee beans in the world!

On my trip last September to the Blue Mountains I was able to take a tour with Rafjam to visit Twyman’s Coffee Plantation.  At first I thought it would be a “see the beans, taste the coffee now buy our stuff and leave so we can make way for the next tour”.  BUT, the tour was more of a laid back experience.  We started the tour meeting Mrs Twyman and after a brief tour of her mountain edge roasting house we were able to spend some time in her roasting/bean sorting room.  There we were able to watch how coffee beans are sorted and we were able to taste all of their different coffee bean roasting styles.  For the first time in my life I actually ate fresh coffee beans!   A little while later we were seated on their porch overlooking the Blue Mountains to enjoy some pastries and a fresh brewed pot of coffee.  While enjoying our Blue Mountain coffee, we were able to read through her library of coffee books and ask a million questions that were all answered like a flash from a coffee expert.

Outside in their garden area we saw how coffee beans are grown (saving a trip to see their plantation) and after tasting the coffee and seeing the actual plants the whole cycle came alive for us.  The whole tour was almost intoxicating with the fresh coffee, the Jamaican coffee history and the laid back vibe of sitting on the edge of a mountain just enjoying life!  There was NEVER any pressure to buy coffee but we bought 3 pounds because honestly it was one of the best coffee beans that we ever tasted.  Rafjam was nice enough to lend us a bean grinder so we could enjoy the beans while we stayed at their resort a few miles down the road.

A short slide show of the Blue Mountain Coffee Tour:

Links:

Old Tavern Coffee Estate <—The coffee tour place.

Blue Mountain Cottage and Nature and Tours <—The tour guides and where we stayed

Blue Mountain Lodging Review <—Our review of Rafjam

Jah B’s Food Review

Jah B’s Food  Review:

Location: Jah B’s has a perfect mid beach location.  From any area on the beach road you are no further than a $1.00 route taxi ride or a 15 minute walk.   Even from the far ends of Negril, Jah B’s is only a cheap taxi ride away or a refreshing walk away.

Seating: The Seating at Jah B’s is under a roof in case it’s raining or you just want to get out of the sun.  But… if you want the sun they also have plenty of outdoor tables!

Time from seating until order is taken: It’s sort of like walking into your favorite local restaurant, you walk in and say hello to Miss Joyce and say what you want or look at the menu.  It’s not a “for the love of god does this define island time” type of place, the service is fast!

Time from seating until drinks are delivered: Less than a minute!

Time from seating until food was delivered: It really depends on what you order, everything is cooked to order so if rice takes 10-20 minutes at home it takes that long at Jah B’s.  ALL (in caps) of the food is fresh and it’s cooked to order= no heat lamps or cooked food sitting around.

Food quality: Excellent!  Generally I’ll ask for a bottle of hot sauce to spice up my food if it’s bland in taste and I never once added any to my food at Jah B’s!  While the food was not “hot in taste”, in was full of natural flavor.  Since I stayed there for 2 weeks I can attest to how fresh their produce was, it was delivered several times a week and as a guest I was able to buy it directly from the vendor.

Service quality: Relaxing!  Between Joyce (the owner) and Tim (the cook) they are both watching over you from a comfortable distance making sure your facial expressions show a love for the food and that you don’t need another drink.  Before you could even think of looking around for service, one of them will rush over to see what you need.

Food & Drink prices: Fair to cheap!  On a 1-10 of prices in Negril I would give Jah B’s a 3.  I really can’t think of many other places on the beach road area of Negril that offer better prices and not many that can match the level of service.

Overall quality: Excellent!

Overall price: Outstanding!  For me it’s more than price, being able to walk into the kitchen and talk to the cook while he prepares my meal is priceless!  Being able to throw my menu on another table and say “this is what I want” is priceless as well.

A Special Thanks: To Seveen, ExOchiGirl and several other members of a few on-line forums for suggesting Jah b’s to me!

A Review of Jah B’s Cottages: My review of Jah B’s Cottages <—-click there

Negril Wood Carvings

Negril Jamaica is full of wood carvers and people selling carvings! From carvers selling their blood sweat and tears to the “carvers” selling cheap imports from China and other places around the globe. The prices range from a few dollars up to several hundred dollars depending on size, how complex the piece is and how willing the tourist is to pay for something they want on their mantle at home. Several of the “real” carvers are willing to do pieces that you dream up or something that is special to you instead of “stock art”. Others are willing to sell whatever they have in front of them for whatever you are willing to pay…..so long as they agree.

Last April I had the honor of meeting Jah Earllocks, a carver on the beach in Negril Jamaica. He sells original carvings along with a mix of touristy types of carvings. At first I was a little shy because I was afraid of the whole beach vendor pushy vibe but once I talked to him for a little bit I knew he was different. After several meetings, I exchanged “goods” for his art work. By “goods” I mean stuff that I brought to trade with instead of using money. Some of the beach vendors are willing to exchange things they need in exchange for things that you want. I traded a pair of new boots that never fit me, a snorkel set that I used for the week, a few golf polo shirts and some fishing line for 5-6 carvings that now adore my home. The $25 snorkel set (Target) can be rented for $10 or so a day or sold for $$ so that alone in the long run makes up for his exchanges.

Along with the wood carvings, I commissioned a few bracelets with a mix of bamboo and beads. After years of buying cheap bracelets that were made of cheap fishing line I wanted bracelets made of the “spider wire” that I brought to Jamaica. Spider wire is a threaded fishing line that has a breaking strength of around 80 pounds at the size of a 10 pound normal fishing line. Also, spider wire does not degrade in the sun like mono line! Generally a bracelet made of fishing line will last me 1-6 months but so far my spider wire bracelets have lasted me almost a year…..and I’m still counting! When I left Negril last April Jah Earllocks still had 100+ yards of my spider wire so there is plenty for you if you want bracelets or necklaces that will last for years!

You can find Jah Earllocks in front of “Herbie’s” which is on the beach 50 yards north of Rooms on the Beach, across the beach from Jah B’s, 100 yards south of Roots Bamboo, a few hundred yards north of Alfreds…..if you can’t figure out where it is by now leave a message and I’ll give you directions from something you know! Also, you can find Jah Earllocks playing music at Roots Bamboo and several other venues around Jamaica.

Contact info:

Jah Earllocks AKA birth name “Charles Nunes”

Business Name: The Roots Corner

Phone: 876-349-8834

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