Colonoscopy Patients' Comments

[Wahoo]

A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies:

1. Take it easy, Doc . You're boldly going where no man has gone before!

2. Find Amelia Earhart yet?

3. Can you hear me NOW?

4. Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?

5. You know, in Arkansas , we're now legally married.

6. Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?'

7. You put your left hand in; you take your left hand out...

8. Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!

9. If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!

10. Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity.

11. You used to work for the Inland Revenue Service bad payers division, didn't you?

12. God, now I know why I am not gay.

And last but not least...

13. Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there?

[Wahoo]

When I heard Dueling Banjos playing in the background, I knew I was a long way from Aintree!