Golf Thread

[ECO]

It's uncanny how golf and sex are so much alike--hitting the sweet spot, getting it in the hole, washing your balls, getting a good grip, keeping score... I don't know which I miss most.

Plus when you are not out golfing it is still fun shining the shaft on your favorite gold club and playing with your balls in the privacy of your own home.

[ECO]

Except sex can sometimes be exciting.

Have you ever played golf?

On a side note, I've had rounds of golf that beat the heck out of bad sex.

[ECO]

Oh it is true.

Assuming someone's had 15 partners at least one or two of those had to suck so bad they they would rather play a round of golf than repeat the sex again. Or for the people that like to drink and pick up sex partners with beer goggles on.......in the morning a round of golf will likely look better than the toothless wonder that you brought home the night before.

[ECO]

Ha ha ha ha ha ha Good thing I don't fall into any of those categories

Yeah, that would suck to call a guy up and say "I had a great time in bed with you the other night" only to hear him say "you sucked I should of gone golfing"!

[Wahoo]

I know golf if not some of youse cup of tea, but I, for one, can't wait till 2:00 p.m. tomorrow to watch the finale of the PGA championship. Bogus weather is forecasted for tomorrow--which promises to make it interesting--but it's a level playing field. Woods is at the top of the leader board, 2 strokes ahead of some Irish bloke. Vijay Singh is playing well but needs to spend some time on the practice putting green--I don't know know many 3-foot gimmes he missed today, for crying out loud! Gonna get up early to finish the office work I brought home and pack a cooler with ice and beer and a pitcher of pina coladas and park it beside my La-Z-Boy recliner...I'll be ready.

[Wahoo]

And maybe...maybe...if I finish my work early enough tomorrow, I might cruise over to the driving range with my driver and hit a couple of buckets of balls before the PGA championship starts. Haven't done that in beaucoop years. Even as rusty as I am, I bet I can still put some well beyond the 300-yd marker. I was a long hitter when I was young...not bragging, just the truth.

[ECO]

If you can still wack em 300 yards give me a call after I finish up with my 6th virgin of the day. Maybe I'm just cranky since at my best I could only hit 220 yards, 3 putt, chip like crap, stay in a sand trap for 5 strokes and use more balls than holes for a round.

[Wahoo]

6th virgin of the day... You laff, but the last round of golf I played, I was in my mid 20s and was paired with a teenager and some old guy. A foursome had teed off ahead us. The first hole, as I recall, was something like 320 yards. We were waiting for the foursome ahead of us to move it along and get out of range. The kid and the old man had already teed off, but I was holding back for the foursome to get out of range. The old guy was getting impatient and huffy, telling me there was no way I could get anywhere near the foursome ahead of us. So I hauled off an whacked it, and I swear it was the longest, straightest drive I ever had--low and long and straight at the green. We yelled "four" and the foursome a good distance away looked back. Never did find my Titleist, even though it was straight as an arrow down the fairway (in fact, it was so straight at the cup I was thinking I might've had a hole-in-one), and to this day I'm convinced I overshot the green and into the creek another 20-30 yards in back of the green. Either that, or one of the foursome ahead of us took my ball.

[ECO]

Lol, you forgot to look behind you? Neat golf range trick, place 3 balls in line with your target, stroke like hell and one of them will pop up 90 degrees and land behind you. Two of the balls will travel a little bit in front of you and the one that comes back always does the same thing (no risk of hitting you).....give it a shot.

See golf is like sex, your goal is to play with one other player but if you get stuck in a foursome it's still good.

[Wahoo]

Cost of 1 lost Titleist: $1.25

Greens fees for 18 holes: $12.00

The bug-eyed looks on the teenager's and that old fart's faces when I whacked that ball: Priceless!

[ECO]

Cost of 1 lost Titleist: $1.25

Greens fees for 18 holes: $12.00

The bug-eyed looks on the teenager's and that old fart's faces when I whacked that ball: Priceless!

Wahoo, if you play again...........not to break your heart but bring $12 for green fees and other $50-$150 to account for inflation. In the past couple of years I played for $55-$150 for a round of golf

I have no clue how much golf balls cost since I steal them from showoffs that overdrive my position on the course actually I hunt for them in the woods and ponds if the people in front of me think a hole should take an hour. I'm proud to say that I have not bought golf balls in maybe 8 years.

[Wahoo]

Tinks and Bajanbabe are probably about to lose it from all this golf talk.

[Wahoo]

Saw where a 90-year-old in Texas sank a hole in one.

Note to self: add "make a hole in one" to bucket list.

[Wahoo]

I once shot a birdie. I didn't want to, but it wouldn't stop squawking while I was trying to putt.

[ECO]

Speaking of golf, I found a 5 gallon bucket of balls in my shed...need to find a field to practice in since I can't afford a real game.

[Wahoo]

I haven't swung a club in years, but I've still got a big bucket of shag balls, too. I'm saving them for the day I get my own yacht with a helo pad. Then I can tee off on my helo pad and drive my shag balls into the ocean.

[Wahoo]

Those shag balls might come in handy if my yacht is attacked by Somali pirates. Them pirates will be no match for Wahoo with his driver and bucket of shag balls.

[ECO]

Hmmm, I have spoken about my potato cannon before.....wonder if I could modify one to shoot golf balls! I can get about 200 yards off of a spud.....

[Wahoo]

This has been such an enjoyable continuing thread (for me anyway), I'd just like to give a Big Up to Tinks for starting it.