Groaner Alert!

[Wahoo]

A guy was in a bar about as drunk as it's possible to get.

A group of guys notice his condition and decide to be good Samaritans and take him home.
First they stand him up to get to his wallet so they can find out where he lives, but he keeps falling down.

He fell down eight more times on the way to the car, each time with a hard thud.
After they get to his house, he falls down another four times getting him to the door.

His wife comes to the door, and one guy says,
"We brought your husband home."

The wife asks,
"Where's his wheelchair?"

[ECO]

I'm going to twist that and use it as an excuse when I get too drunk to walk! "Two weeks ago I was a double amputee and needed a wheel chair but now I'm trying to live without the wheelchair" but being drunk it might come out like "anudda drink bitch....I lost mi legs in nam an don't no how ta useses des legs someone put pon mi body

[Wahoo]

The evolutionary adaptation of upright bipedal locomotion--in my opinion--is highly overrated, anyway. Why walk when you can just as easily crawl to the bar?