How far would you go?

[Tequila and Lime]

If you didn't trust someone you were involved with, how far would you go?

Looking at phone?
At emails?
Going through pockets?
Driving by where they are supposed to be?

This question came to me from a friend of mine. I have my opinions; but want to hear some others.

[ECO]

Without trust it's time to bag your bags or to pick up a book on how to live with someone you don't trust. Going through their phone & e-mail and finding something will just upset you and not finding anything will just make you think that have some clever other way of doing whatever they do.

If everyone went to bed knowing that 95% of men and women cheat in thought, word or deed then people could spent more time doing more productive things like:

chatting on forums

[Lillywight]

Here's my own admission . . . I trust nobody (man, woman, friend, family member)! I never have and I never will! Perhaps it's a product of my past, but whatever it is, it is. Not trusting doesn't stop me from being in relationships with others.

I've learned that if something feels wrong, it probably is. No need to snoop to find it. Besides, what you find may seem incriminating when it really isn't, and vice versa.

It's better to be "direct" -- and outright ask. Of course, regardless . . . you're going to have to interpret the response to determine if it's truthful or not.

My unwritten law . . . "Don't ask unless you want to know the answer."

Sometimes it isn't easy being me.

[Tequila and Lime]

I agree guys. Completely. Although, ha ha, Eco.

A friend of mine is going through this. His wife has gone so far as to take his cell phone out of his pocket while he is sleeping. It's really sad.

[Tequila and Lime]

OK, then, second part of question......

If you did that to someone, could you ever trust them enough NOT to do it anymore? Or would it be a constant thing?

If someone did it to you, would you believe they would ever stop?

[Tequila and Lime]

Oh, and my theory on this is that this is just the stuff he KNOWS about. Surely, there is more going on that he doesn't know about.

Sneaky bitch!

[Jelakins]

Search, find something and hurt so much you end your relationship!
Search. don't find anything and feel so much guilt you have to end your relationship!
Leave it alone - if you think something is amiss and you can't TALK then its all finished anyway!!

[ECO]

Oh, and my theory on this is that this is just the stuff he KNOWS about. Surely, there is more going on that he doesn't know about.

Sneaky bitch!

If you were in her shoes would you do the same?

Tell him to start to use a password on his phone just to piss her off! Same goes for his computer!

[Tequila and Lime]

Okay....good points, Jel.

What if wife insists......no DEMANDS he end the friendship....and that's all it is, a friendship. Because of her own insecurities. We are talking childhood friend here too. And, he is adament that isn't going to happen.

So, you see, they do talk about it, Jel. Just ends in yelling though.

[Tequila and Lime]

Oh, and my theory on this is that this is just the stuff he KNOWS about. Surely, there is more going on that he doesn't know about.

Sneaky bitch!

If you were in her shoes would you do the same?

Tell him to start to use a password on his phone just to piss her off! Same goes for his computer!

No, I wouldn't. I would tell him exactly what I was thinking if I had a problem. But, I'm not spying on him. I'm not much of the jealous type, though. If you want me, you want me. If you don't move along. You know? And, God forbid I find out I am being cheated on. Cause then I walk immediately.

The problem I have with this situation is I know the gal he is talking to and I know what he is saying is the truth. I've known them both since childhood. So, it really is no big deal. But, I think the way the wife is reacting shows severe problems with the trust in that marriage. He's given her no reasons for this.

[ECO]

Maybe people's trust gets chiseled away from <rant> their selection of TV shows and movies that show it like it happens in every home? Maybe it get chiseled away since you can't stand in a checkout lane without seeing at least one magazine that has a "20 Ways to Find out if your lover is cheating" story? Oh and I'm not even going to mention all of the internet ads! </rant>

[Tequila and Lime]

How about hugging him just to sniff his neck? Both sides like some Godfather move?????

[Tequila and Lime]

No one should tell anyone who they can and can't be friends with. What the hell kinda nonsense is that?

She's clearly feeling insecure about something. Maybe he should have introduced the childhood friend to her, get her involved so she could see for herself that there is nothing going on. Unless of course there IS something going on, and there is some denial going on?

Some people think that men and women can't be friends. I'm not one of them.

Wifey needs to sort out why she is feeling so insecure and deal with it, becasue the way she is behaving now will turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy eventually.

You hit the nail on the head. She has made what was just a small issue into something so gigantic they will most likely divorce very soon. The woman is crazy!

[Batty_gyal]

Well in my experience...if there is no trust...their is no relationship. If you don't trust people in general thats one thing which I TOTALLY get...but if you have an extra strong inclination to not trust the one your with more so than general mistrust...then you shouldn't be with them. If you wonder every time they are out...and if your missing that connection where you know you have nothing to worry about..why bother.

Ainsley calls me and asks before he's goes to parties and I tell him constantly he doesn't need to ask. I trust him...and he has the freedom to do whatever he wishes without asking me first. I could walk into a party and find him daggering with some women and I wouldn't care because I know he's straight up....and at the end of the day he doesn't cross that line.

That's the way it should be..both people are still free individuels ....you don't become someones property when you marry or date. Its a partnership...where you still have the freedom to do as you wish...but if you love that person you won't do things that harm them or the relationship and it won't take effort to be that way because you care and it come naturally!

[Tequila and Lime]

This bitch is just crazy. I can't even post anymore cause it gets so far out there.

[princesssam81]

did this question really come to you from a "friend of yours"??? come on now
how far would i go???out the door!!! if i feel compelled to do that kind of stuff, which are intrusive to your partner's privacy, then i'd know the trust isn't there. its either you trust the person or you don't, and if you don't then looking through their pockets may not answer all your questions.
it's VERY easy to keep things discreet from a snooping partner....especially when there's reason to not be trusted, of course you want to cover your