Pools are for tourists

[Wahoo]

Eco remarked in another post that it's beyond him why anyone staying at a seaside resort would want a pool when the beach and ocean are just steps away, and I, too, have often puzzled over this phenomenon. There was a time when I believed swim-up bars were the greatest idea since french ticklers, but the novelty soon passed, and I haven't done a running cannonball into a resort pool in years. There were pools at the places I stayed in Mobay and Negril (and in Punta Cana), but I never used them (okay, except for that one time at my hotel in Mobay to check out the swim-up bar). Why would I when the surf and great snorkling were only a few steps away? For that matter, there're two community pools in the projects where I live, but I haven't visited them in years...though maybe I would if they installed swim-up bars.

[ECO]

The problem with swim up bars is everyone pisses in the water. While I've been known to do it a few times, it's not ok in my book if others do it.

[Wahoo]

I did pee in the ocean once while standing neck-deep in the surf, but then started to panic, fearful the scent would attract man-eating sharks and I'd suddenly find myself being propelled backward while the water turned blood red, like in the opening scene of Jaws.

[ECO]

Google for the giant shark they killed at Rick's Cafe a couple of months ago. <--true story / Experts agree that it was in the area because of the 75 people in the water urinating Red Stripe beer and those sugary drinks <---that part I made up. Actually they think it was in the area to have her babies, speaking of which the pictures of her babies are sort of sick.

[Wahoo]

That changes everything! The only place you'll find me waist-deep in the wata in Negril will be at my hotel's swim-up bar.

[ECO]

Maybe it's a selling point for the resorts with swimming pools! Sharks in the ocean and sharks on the beach........

[Wahoo]

Now that I think about it, the gal in the opening scene of Jaws was having her menses and that's what attracted the giant great white shark to her. Hence, I would feel safe in the knowledge that killer sharks are only attracted to the female species, except that with my rotten luck I'd probably attract the only gay killer shark cruising in the area the day I decide to go snorkeling.