Tell us about something humorous that you watched at a bar:

[Nanoose]

Once I watched a guy at a bar stop a lady that was on her way out – hand her a scrape of paper and pen then ask her if she would please draw him a pitcher of her breast for later on.
The lady was a sport she took the pen and paper scribbled something – handed it back and said there I drew you the pair. The guy looked at the paper shook his head and handed the paper back and said – no thanks I only like the pointy kind.
I’m pretty sure she was expecting the guy to at least have something nice to say about the pitcher and I am pretty sure she exaggerated a little bit when she drew the pitcher.
Were it really started to get humorous was when he went back to his table and pretended that he couldn’t understand what people were laughing about because there was nothing wrong with pointy breasts and he stated rattling off celebrities with pointy breasts.
There was one guy at the table that kept laughing so he got real close and said – what’s so funny do you think pointy breasts are un natural?
When the guy said - umm no the other guy said - good because my sister has pointy breasts. Then ever body knew he was goofing around because he didn’t have a sister. Cheers!

[ECO]

Twice I was at a bar with a friend who was "piss drunk"......lol he pissed all over the floor in the bar room without anyone noticing or saying anything if they did notice.

[Wahoo]

I worried that I'd be "piss drunk" at the JAB get-together at Canoe, but luckily for me that was one time was able to hold my likker.

That reminds me of an old Maroon joke:

Q: How do de oomen dem hold fi likker?
A: By de ears dem.

[ECO]

That was a calm get together, I think I only had a spliff and a couple of drinks. Now the the beer prices have doubled I'm pissed that I did not stock up on those $100 Red Stripes.

[Nanoose]

I worried that I'd be "piss drunk" at the JAB get-together at Canoe, but luckily for me that was one time was able to hold my likker.

That reminds me of an old Maroon joke:

Q: How do de oomen dem hold fi likker?
A: By de ears dem.

I don’t know what or who a oomen or a fi - is so I can’t get the joke – unless it’s similar to a joke I once head about corn farmer’s daughter and Jack Danielle’s. Cheers

[Nanoose]

I only heard about this but I think it’s pretty funny.

Once a guy had a beer or 2 too many and started going on about how nobody really liked him. Eventually he said – screw you’s I’m going to the john – he started on his way to the john and turned around and said – now you can all talk about me behind my back.
When he got around the corner he kept peaking around and tried to hear if the people were talking about him – he couldn’t hear them so he snuck over to a hanging flower basket and hid behind it – he actually forgot that he had a body – must of figured if he can’t see them they can’t see him. Eventually somebody said - what the F is he doing and he hide his face in the plant and tried to stand real stile.

I am included a video of an original 1930s recording of the Mills Brothers song I ain’t got no body only because the guy forgot about his body. He did find out some body real liked him – got a safe ride home. He also found out that people don’t talk behind his back but when ever he walked in the bar people would hide behind the plant and laugh and laugh. Cheers and happy almost week end!

I ain’t got no body

[Wahoo]

When I was a young hard-charging jarhead stationed in Santa Ana, Calif, in the early 70's, there was something called the Turtle Club at the various tittie bars my pals & I frequented. The premise went like this: If you were sitting at the bar and someone asked you, "Are you a turtle?" the only correct answer was, "You bet your sweet ass I am."

That's it. I never understood the point, but it was kinda fun regardless, and seemed to be a uniquely Southern California custom at the time.

This was also the same time period that Harvey Wallbangers were all the rage, in Southern California anyway. I spent one afternoon ordering Harvey Wallbangers at my favorite tittie bar. To this day I get nauseous everytime I see one of those tall Galliano liguor bottles.

[Wahoo]

True story, so help me Smedley Butler!

When I was a young hard-charging jarhead stationed in Santa Ana, Calif, in the early 70's, I made a head call (had to pee) in my favorite tittie bar. There was a squid (swabbie, US Navy pogue) in the head at the same time. I finished my business and headed for the exit when the swabbie piped up, "In the Navy, they teach us to wash our hands after we pee."

I backed up and, nose to nose with swabbie, replied, "Well, in the Marines, they teach us not to pee on our hands."

[Nanoose]

True story, so help me Smedley Butler!

When I was a young hard-charging jarhead stationed in Santa Ana, Calif, in the early 70's, I made a head call (had to pee) in my favorite tittie bar. There was a squid (swabbie, US Navy pogue) in the head at the same time. I finished my business and headed for the exit when the swabbie piped up, "In the Navy, they teach us to wash our hands after we pee."

I backed up and, nose to nose with swabbie, replied, "Well, in the Marines, they teach us not to pee on our hands."

Well Marians and sailors will stand nose to nose - but they will also stand elbow to elbow when there is the need.
Wonder if you ever seen the movie The Last Detail – it was about 2 Navy police that had to escort a Navy prisoner to a Military prison. Cheers!