What would you do if your partner cheated on you?

[Batty_gyal]

Wouldn't it be better to examine why sex is being withheld and try and fix that problem versus just going and finding it elsewhere??

That would be my first step.....

[ECO]

Wouldn't it be better to examine why sex is being withheld and try and fix that problem versus just going and finding it elsewhere??

That would be my first step.....

That's logical!

My first wife thought that being married meant that she did not have to have sex anymore, we tried to work around her thought process or lack there of and it did not work that well. In the end I ended up ceasing to have sex with her at all and outsourced the project. To this day I do not feel like my outsourcing was ever cheating......it was outsourcing.

[ECO]

And neither would women.

it's not just men who cheat. Women do it all the time too.

Trust me I know women cheat but I still think they do it more for love unlike most men who do it just to get off.

[ECO]

You must be kidding so I won't even bother to respond.

Come on, do you think they do it for love, or maybe because they are bored? Feed a man 3 good meals at home and he will not eat away from home.

[ECO]

C'mon now!!! Even you know that is not true>
Some men can have everything and still play away form home.

Some..........yeah maybe 5-20% the rest will be the ones who tell their friends that they don't want to hang out all the time since it would mean being away from their loving spouse.

Who defines everything? If I ask that man why he cheats he will tell me what he is not getting at home, something is missing.

Remember 3 good meals a day keeps the playa at bay.

[ECO]

A weak moment? From "hey sexy do you want to dance" to "what color condom do you like" is at least 2 hours...........that adds up to a bunch of weak moments in my opinion.

[ECO]

A weak moment? From "hey sexy do you want to dance" to "what color condom do you like" is at least 2 hours...........that adds up to a bunch of weak moments in my opinion.

from this topic....

The person you describe would fall under the "being an ass category" apparently, you did not read the other reasons given, or maybe that is how you do it.

No, I lead off with "what type of condoms do you me to pick up on the way to the hotel?". I find it saves times and you will find out right away if the lady wants to be with a dog for the night.

[MZKUMA]

I expect from my marriage the same thing I have always put in it. Complete faithfulness. I would not, could not endure infidelity again. Too old for the drama and do not want to be stressed that way. So yes, he would have to go and I will remain single. And he already knows it.

Don't you believe in second chances, or you have delt with that already?

Was married 16 years with my ex husband. After 11 years he cheated and left his family. Divorce proceedings were in place. The week of our first court date, we ended up back together. We were fine (it took a bit to trust him again). About 5-6 years later, our daughter became terminally ill. While we were out of town in the hospital he ended up straying again. I finally had enough and put in for a divorce. Stayed by myself for 5 years. My current husband knows what I went through. Why bother staying in a marriage where your partner is straying? As an adult a person should know who they want. A second chance at this point in my life is a waste of time. I want my final years to be happy. I can control that by not allowing myself to stay in a relationship with an unfaithful mate. Out of site, out of mind.

[MZKUMA]

Tinks said: I am one of those who does not believe that you can love someone and cheat on them. It's all bullshit. It's all wanting to have your cake and eat it.

I agree that it is selfish. Love and selfishness do not go to together - so no, a cheater can't claim to love someone and do stuff that they know will hurt the other person.

It's bullshit.


I TOTALLY AGREE!

[MZKUMA]

I have been cheated on before, and I gave no second chances - despite protestations of love from the guilty party.
I know what I can tolerate and what I can't tolerate.
I know what I am prepared to put up with and what I am not prepared to put up with.

I am not that desperate for a man to accept that kind of behaviour - whether he loved me or not, or whether I loved him or not.
It's not happening.

Everyone is different. I have no intention of forgiving a cheater or taking them back.
Kids or no kids.

Well, I think it is your right to decide what you would do in a situation such as this and good for you got rid of the man. However, to suggest that other people whether man or woman who has decided to give their mates another chance as being desperate is not accurate.

Cheaters take the risk of exposing themselves to STD's or worse HIV. Condoms do break. Then they end up passing that mess to the one they claim to love. I believe when one is caught, it has not been the first time.

[MZKUMA]

Don't you believe in second chances, or you have delt with that already?

Would a second chance include trusting them again or just loving them again?

IMO, to answer the original question, cheating is only breaking the trust bond and has nothing to do with love or lack of love. That is assuming that both people agreed to be faithful.

For me, that 'trust and bond' are the very reason one should not cheat. When that is broken, what's left? Those are the building blocks of love.

[MZKUMA]

I have read all your post and you have made some good points however, you have given someone a chance, it did not work for you and now you have chosen to do something different. Because the second chance did not work for you does not mean it will not work for someone else, I have seen it happen. At least you have given someone that second chance and you have your experience to fall back on. They are some who opt to divorce and end up regretting it only to end up with the same person again. Your experiences are not mine nor are mine yours, therefore I will continue to say, let each person work out what is good and proper choice for them if and when such a situation occur. I think I can say with confidence, like you there would be no third chance.

Sorry for the misunderstanding. I was speaking on a personal level. What would I do. Never said anyone should or should not. It's up to the individual. For me, knowing what I know and how I feel...I'd just move on. I'm not going to stroke out worrying over something I shouldn't have to. I agree because it's how I feel.