What would you do if your partner cheated on you?

[damswell]

i woulnt be so drastic...get rid of him...and not look back

[Jelakins]

I know what I'd do.
Pack my bags and leave.
No arguments, no discussions.
I would not be intereted in what he had to say.
And as for the other party, they can have him.

My sentiments exactly.... if he is cheating ON me not WITH me...

[ECO]

If you found out that your partner was cheating on you what would you do?
Would you blame the other party?
Would you blame yourself?
Why would you blame the other party, bearing in mind that it takes two to tango?
Would you really want to go to Jail or die for your partner?
Would you forgive them and take them back?

Assuming partner is someone who I have sex with and love......

DO= terminate the relationship and if I had proof of the cheating embarrass them at a family function. By embarrass I mean playing a video of it at their mothers funeral.

Blame her= Yes assuming I felt in my heart that I offered her all she wanted (like she had no good reason to cheat).

Blame me= Same as above, I would assume their would always be some sort of self blame.

The other party= No way, I can't blame some random dude for tapping some ass that wants to cheat, not his fault.

Die/jail= not worth it, I'd just walk away laughing.......once the video was playing at her family event.

Forgive= That's a hard one, at this point I would say no.

[ECO]

If I was inlovewith my partner, I can't even begn to think of being with someone else .

Interesting statement! Would this include seeing some hot man and mentally undressing him? Or wondering what another man would be like in bed?

[ECO]

If I am inlove with my partner, I am not intersted in anyone else, so no, I would not be wondering what they are like in bed or mentally undressing them.
My mind is just consumed with him and him only, no one else gets a look in.

Impressive! If more people thought that way this thread would not even exist.

[ECO]

My sentiments exactly.... if he is cheating ON me not WITH me...

That would be an excellent subject for another thread! "Cheating with a married person" Lol, a good friend of mine will only date married women, he swears by the benefits.

[Rose21]

When your cheated on it's one of worst feelings you clould ever imagine. I know this because i was cheated on.I kept wondering what did i do wrong? is there something wrong with me? so on and so on. I was faitful to this person who i love endlesly. When i asked him why? his reply was "you were never there when i need you, your books and school seems to come before me" Yes, i did what a lot woman do i took him back thinking it was all my fault, i put everything else on the back burner and gave him all the attention he claim he was not geting. I felt like everyone need a second chance, so i gave him a second chance. I never said i forgave him eventho we got back together, and it was always at the back of my mind how he cheated on me maybe that's why i never forgave him. Some people say "they would never take a cheater back" but i think if you havent been in that position you can say anything. It was hard for me to let go because we had so much history together,
and i was hoping that one day i could say i forgave you and move on. It never happen, i was always sospicious of him, so i came to a conclution, it's not going to work, it was the hardest thing to do, when you love and care about someone that much to say the relationship is over It like a part of you just died. We went our sepperate ways, it took me a long time to move on but i did. Everyone has there own oppinion when it comes to cheating, and dealt with it in there own way.

[Raggamuffin562]

I'm sure everyone is going to say LEAVE the cheater.
But I know sooooooooooo many women/men that stay in a cheating relationship.
You want to be optimistic and hope that this was a one time deal, but a person is going to do what they are going to do. No matter how good they have it at home, it's up to that one individual to have the commitment and loyalty to not stray. It's just too bad that so many people fall victim to temptation.

[ECO]

Many people do think that, unfortunately, life is full of twist and turns and we don't know where we will end up tomorrow. I have been married for 10 years and I take my vows very seriously, for better or worst. They are those who give up when the worst comes. Life “happens” no matter how ideal our goals and expectations are. We are faced with situations we must work trough some of which are unpleasant, however, everyone has their own reason as to why they may feel the need to cheat, some may have no reason at all. All I am saying is that none of us knows what tomorrow will bring. Therefore, none of us can rightly say what we will do until we are actually faced with such a situation. That's just plain reality.

Ok, does "for better and worse" cover cheating? How about drug abuse? How about beating their spouse? Not like I need to go any further, but how about beating the children or sexually abusing them? All of these fit really nice under the "worse" category IMO.

I'm not asking these questions directly to you BB, it's just your "for better or worse" triggered them.

[ECO]

Better or worst is better or worst. How you choose to interrupt it is up to you. Nowhere does it state what the good or the bad is. However, you have made my point for me. Nothing is black or white only, there is always the gray areas, which needs consideration and it's those gray areas which determines what a person will or will not do.

I've never got a straight answer when I ask that............

[ECO]

I don't! I've been married twice and both times I walked down the isle I thought I was walking with the person that I would spend the rest of my life with.

[ECO]

I don't! I've been married twice and both times I walked down the isle I thought I was walking with the person that I would spend the rest of my life with.

They may not be thinking of the option of divorce at the time, but I am sure there are many people who have got married with doubts in their minds about the union.

Are you talking about the people who get married at the drive thru wedding chapels in Las Vegas?

[MZKUMA]

I expect from my marriage the same thing I have always put in it. Complete faithfulness. I would not, could not endure infidelity again. Too old for the drama and do not want to be stressed that way. So yes, he would have to go and I will remain single. And he already knows it.

[Rose21]

I expect from my marriage the same thing I have always put in it. Complete faithfulness. I would not, could not endure infidelity again. Too old for the drama and do not want to be stressed that way. So yes, he would have to go and I will remain single. And he already knows it.

Don't you believe in second chances, or you have delt with that already?

[ECO]

Don't you believe in second chances, or you have delt with that already?

Would a second chance include trusting them again or just loving them again?

IMO, to answer the original question, cheating is only breaking the trust bond and has nothing to do with love or lack of love. That is assuming that both people agreed to be faithful.

[ECO]

I must agree with this statement, even though some would argue that if people love each other then they would not cheat. IMO this most definitely not case. I see it as an act of selfishness.

If one of the two partners fail to meet the other partners sexual desires then in some cases it's fine in my book. In that case one failed to provide and the other outsourced without consulting their partner. I'm not talking about the guy who makes love to his wife at 6pm and then bangs everything that walks for the rest of the night.

[Batty_gyal]

I would straight up leave...no looking back. I've been through this...a five year relationship...ending it my man cheating with a stripper and getting her pregnant while out with the guys off his military base. I tried making it work because he was genuinely remorseful...and so sad...loved me so much. I got strung along for another year on his BS. And learned the hard way that if someone has degressed to the point where they are not in love with you enough to avoid cheating....its better to pack up your bags and go!

Of course like anything in life...exceptions exist..but they are rare and it would be highly naieve for someone to assume they will be one of them. Personal discretion I guess.

[ECO]

I am one of those who does not believe that you can love someone and cheat on them. It's all bullshit. It's all wanting to have your cake and eat it.

I agree that it is selfish. Love and selfishness do not go to together - so no, a cheater can't claim to love someone and do stuff that they know will hurt the other person.

It's bullshit.

Most of the men that I know cheat because their they don't get the sex that they want at home. In most cases this means little or no sex so they go elsewhere for it. I guess you can debate that they can learn to live without sex or whatever out of love but IMO they have a need and they take care of it. For a woman or man to play games holding sex over their spouses head like some sick game and then freak out when they cheat.......

[Batty_gyal]

Exactly...its about being smart in the head. Its rare in my opinion for cheating relationships to be fixed..but I've seen it done..so its not impossible. But its knowing what can be fixed..and what can't and hitting the road when its beyond repair!

[ECO]

Well clearly some love is lost somewhere. If the wife/husband is inlove with their partner then they would not withhold sex or use it as a weapon.
Time to move on..

So if people cheat because their spouse is holding back sex and the holding back is due to a lack of love then the cheater never really cheated on someone that loves them?

I still think men would not cheat if they got what they wanted at home.