What do you think?

[Batty_gyal]

Ok wondering what others think on this.

Today towards the end of my shift...a translator was translating between us, the doctor and a old fiesty chinese lady. The old lady was alone...had no flowers, no personal belongings...but family who lived nearby, but never came to see her. Perhaps it's because she's a rather difficult old lady, but still they ignore her, even when she's undergoing major surgeries. She expressed to us her lonliness, and sadness that her family ignored her and couldn't seem to grasp that her husband had passed away. It was heartbreaking.

In many cultures, especially Asian, it is understood that you respect your elders, and you take care of them in their old age, the same way those younger than you will someday help you in your elderly years. If you ignored your elderly mother it would be a terrible thing. Most old patients of every culture have loving families that stay by their sides.

I felt outraged that her family lived so close but never came to see her. Couldn't even bring her some flowers, and I know they are not a poor family and we know they have the time. The lady nearly died one day and the doctors called her family only to be told..the family was eating dinner and could not be bothered to come in at that time.

Do you think people should be obligated to take care of their elderly family members...well mostly parents and immediate family especially? If they can't take care of them do you think they should at least visit and make their last days more comfortable? Bring flowers maybe?

And if a difficult family member was dying..even if they are a bit of a pain..would you come see them knowing that you still love them...and regardless of them being hard to deal with you know they are lonely and in pain???

[jellybean]

Ok wondering what others think on this.

Today towards the end of my shift...a translator was translating between us, the doctor and a old fiesty chinese lady. The old lady was alone...had no flowers, no personal belongings...but family who lived nearby, but never came to see her. Perhaps it's because she's a rather difficult old lady, but still they ignore her, even when she's undergoing major surgeries. She expressed to us her lonliness, and sadness that her family ignored her and couldn't seem to grasp that her husband had passed away. It was heartbreaking.

In many cultures, especially Asian, it is understood that you respect your elders, and you take care of them in their old age, the same way those younger than you will someday help you in your elderly years. If you ignored your elderly mother it would be a terrible thing. Most old patients of every culture have loving families that stay by their sides.

I felt outraged that her family lived so close but never came to see her. Couldn't even bring her some flowers, and I know they are not a poor family and we know they have the time. The lady nearly died one day and the doctors called her family only to be told..the family was eating dinner and could not be bothered to come in at that time.

Do you think people should be obligated to take care of their elderly family members...well mostly parents and immediate family especially? If they can't take care of them do you think they should at least visit and make their last days more comfortable? Bring flowers maybe?

And if a difficult family member was dying..even if they are a bit of a pain..would you come see them knowing that you still love them...and regardless of them being hard to deal with you know they are lonely and in pain???

It is a shame that some people die alone and they have relatives that could have looked after them.

In this country a lot of families put their elderly relatives into care homes - I personally don't think I would ever put my mum in a care home.

It is true many cultures respect the elder members of their families and feel it is their duty to look after them.

I have known a number of women who because they are the only single person in their family the other siblings have expected them to care for their parents.

as the old saying goes "once an adult - twice a child"

[ECO]

It's possible that the old lady has done horrible things in her life and that it why she will die alone and have a funeral that is not attended. Assuming the lady has money, this is the perfect time to warm up to her so she includes you in her will and crosses out the names of her other family members. I get 18% for the greedy idea!

[Jelakins]

It's possible that the old lady has done horrible things in her life and that it why she will die alone and have a funeral that is not attended. Assuming the lady has money, this is the perfect time to warm up to her so she includes you in her will and crosses out the names of her other family members. I get 18% for the greedy idea!

You are soooooo bad!!! But I agree!!!

[On Vacation]

I'm on the fence with this one because I've had a family member royally mess with mine and my son's lives, so I "get" if there's a reason they don't care. But at the same time I'm a Christian (go ahead and bun fiyah, I don't care), so I don't think I could ignore an ailing or dying family member in good conscience.

In fact, I KNOW I can't ignore it. My father never did anything for me except donate the sperm to create me, but after 35 yrs of ignoring me, I still stood by him on his death bed 1.5 yrs ago.

[Tequila and Lime]

I think it depends on what they did to me, JC. I try to be the "good Christian". I have one person in my life who when he is dying in his bed, I will be doing the happy dance

[Batty_gyal]

Well I think the only thing this lady is guilty of is being a horrible nag and a bit of a bitch!! She genuinely loves her family...she's just a pain in the ass!!

But honestly...I don't think I could ever let a family member face death alone..regardless of what kind of person they were!! It's a scary thing to face...even for a confident Christian!! It's so sad to see this little old lady crying because she's lonely.

LMAO..that's terrible Eco...although I am the only one she semi likes!:D

Well put Jellybean..I agree!! And I don't think I could put my mom in a home either..or my dad!

[ECO]

Find out her net worth and if it's over a few hundred thousand I'll stay with her until she dies for $2300 a day plus expenses. Of course I require a deposit of $15,000 in case she dies before I can turn a profit on the project. BTW, I'm not kidding--please tell her I'm only a phone call away.

Does the hospital have wireless internet?

[ECO]

You are priceless Eco

Not priceless, I charge for everything............if the price is right I'll even sleep with the old lady (sleep, sex costs a little more and I use a stunt double for that).

[LadySizzla]

I agree with you all lol (this fence is sure comfortable ). We don't know the history of this woman and her family so can't judge. I have a nasty nanna who I don't like but I wouldn't let her suffer just cos of her lifetime of bitchiness. I also have someone I would enjoy watching die slowly and painfully.

I also want Eco to die so I alone can befriend this woman and I have a space in my bank account ready for when she pops her clogs. In fact I'm looking for a mother figure in my life - BG ask her if she wants to adopt a house-trained 38 year old non-smoker.

[Jelakins]

Well I think the only thing this lady is guilty of is being a horrible nag and a bit of a bitch!! She genuinely loves her family...she's just a pain in the ass!!

But honestly...I don't think I could ever let a family member face death alone..regardless of what kind of person they were!! It's a scary thing to face...even for a confident Christian!! It's so sad to see this little old lady crying because she's lonely.

LMAO..that's terrible Eco...although I am the only one she semi likes!:D

Well put Jellybean..I agree!! And I don't think I could put my mom in a home either..or my dad!

BG how long have you known this woman that you can make the statement that the only thing she is guilty of is "a horrible nag and a bit of a bitch" or that she genuinely loves her family? Are you basing your assumption on what she is saying now that she is ill or do you have other evidence of this? I am no saying you are wrong but you must have some solid basis for your belief other than feeling sorry for the ole gal deserving as she might be. Just as we can feel sympathy for the old lady we can not judge the family before knowing all the circumstances, we allow our feelings to run away with us and to take sides base on what appears to be and not on facts. Asians normally takes care of their own so i wouldn't be quick to form an opinion on this one before understanding it a little better.

Well said BB!!

The reality is that whatever the circumstance, for the ENTIRE family to stay way, there MUST be some kind of familial devastation therein.

I do find it difficult to believe that THE WHOLE FAMILY can igonore what BG alledges is a cute little old lady who is perhaps a "horrible nag and a bit of a bitch"
No smoke without fire

If BG wants to befriend this lady so at least she is not totally alone in her last months / weeks / years then thats all well and good, but please - don't condemn the family blindly

[Batty_gyal]

I'm basing my assumptions on what the family has told us. Apparently she is very nagging and has always been demanding and gives them the brown stuff that floats in the toilet about everything and the family is using this as a " finally a break" time. Which is sad because this old lady doesn't have long to live. We asked them what was the reason they didn't come in, and that's what they said. And yes..there could be hidden family history. But the women screams out her families names all night and tells us she is so lonely and misses her family. If the women feels that strongly...she obviously loves her family and she lived with them before she came in. So who knows..but I know I wouldn't let her die alone if I was that family. She doesn't have a single personal belonging with her...not even her glasses that are at her sons..that she needs to read the translation sheet we have for her to tell us if she is in pain, or needs to go to the bathroom.

But the point of the thread is not so much this women..but what you would do with your family members. I don't know the whole history of her..so it's based on my obsevation..and what the family has told us.

[Batty_gyal]

Yup....sometimes it is just a case of reap what you sow...and your right on the fact that their is alot we don't know...and is the families business.

Just sad to see either way!! You know sometimes there is people I wish would start reapin a little of what they sow...but somehow it's just as sad to see people start reaping as it is to be the one getting what they sow!!

[Batty_gyal]

Your right on the mark there Bajan!!