What’s your New Years resolution?

[Nanoose]

This New Year my resolution is going to be – to stop using the same old jokes that I’ve used for years and come up with some new jokes.
I have told that 2 lips - I mean tulips joke so many times that I am even getting sick of it. This morning I thought I would get an early start on my resolution and when the wife started talking about getting me a new pair of work boots for spring I said – well make sure you get me steel toes. And she said – why do you need steel toes for pulling weeds and I said –
in case I’m on my knees pulling weeds and some smart arse comes over and say’s –
hey do you plant tulips – I mean 2 lips.
(I no it sounds like one of my old jokes but I think it’s completely different)
Cheers and Happy New Year!

[ECO]

I'm going to treat my snow blower better......so I don't have to shovel!

I'm going to get on unemployment and milk the system like everyone else.

I'm going to get a George Bush bumper sticker or at least on of those ones with the date the next pres will be sworn in.

I'm going to send a letter to Paul Newman and tell him that his salad dressing gives me a headache.

I'm I'm I'm going to say I'm going to stuff and not really do it.

[Wahoo]

I resolve to ring in the new year with a social visit to the asian massage parlor.

I resolve to live forever and deprive ObamaCare's health care-rationing "Death Panels" of the satisfaction of denying me life-sustaining health care and "counselling" me to go home and die.

I resolve to claim the maximum allowable credit on my 2010 tax return even though I'm still waiting for my energy-efficient windows to be installed.

[ECO]

I resolve to claim the maximum allowable credit on my 2010 tax return even though I'm still waiting for my energy-efficient windows to be installed.

Hey if they promised that they would have them installed by the end of the year hit them up for the $1500 (violation of contract) and then hit up uncle Sam!

[GhettoGurl]

First I am gonna laugh at all of your resolutions and follow with saying crap I am proly not gonna do eidda...
I am gonna make a change... for the better.
I am gonna find a house and make it our home.
I am dedicate all of 2011 on making ME happy!!!

[Wahoo]

Sipping my morning cup of coffee and saw that GhettoGurl had chimed in, and I immediately thought "I could be having an Oranjeboom!"

Add to my New Year's resolutions list: Save a couple of Oranjebooms for New Year's Eve.

[exaltseo]

Every other year for the past six years
I have made a resolution to not make any new year's resolutions
So far I have kept every single one of these
and they work very well, indeed !!.......................